Averageyouthpastor

Music Monday

I remember thinking this album was the jam back in the day.  It broke my little heart when I found out that Milli Vanilli were lip synching. They might have faked it as singers...but you have to respect their suits with shoulder pads and serious dance moves.  

The Joys of Retirement

A couple of weeks ago, I officially retired at the age of 32.  

_{The perks to my life of retirement have been outstanding!}  

I know that many of you are probably jealous that I was able to make this decision at such a young age....and you should be.

So, to help you see exactly what you are missing out on, I thought I would share some of the highlights of my new life of freedom!

1. Kathie Lee is Back on TV!                                                                                                   

 Just in case 3 hours of the Today Show weren't enough, they have an additional hour for you to enjoy immediately follow Regis & Kelly! I would have never known about this incredible discovery if it wasn't for my retirement.  And the best part.....KATHIE LEE!  Who better to close out the 4th and final hour of the Today Show than America's Favorite TV Personality, Kathie Lee Gifford? With segments such as "Natural Remedies to Cure Baldness" and "Safest Vehicles for Soccer Moms", the show is both informative and entertaining.  

2. Farkle                                                                 

For those that have never heard of Farkle, it's not a new Christian curse word....it's like a really boring version of Yahtzee.  I now get to play the game that is sweeping the Facebook Nation whenever I want!  The only problem that I have with Farkle is that it has really hampered my Bejeweled addiction.   

3. Maury Povich is Not the Baby Daddy

Maury Povich is on a mission.  Who is the Baby Daddy?  I had no idea that there were so many people that wanted to find out the answer to this important question on national television. Maury Povich is like that really weird Grandpa that I never wish I had.  Thank you Maury for the blessing that you are to so many!

4. Phone Solicitors 

I could have sworn we were on the Do-Not-Call List.  Thank you for calling a couple of times a day to sell me a product that I don't want.  Better yet, thank you for reminding me to make sure that we are actually on the Do-Not-Call List.  I do find it kind of fun to turn the game back around on them.  I try to sell them a product at the same time they are trying to sell me one.  It's very frustrating for them and very entertaining for me.  My goal is to get them to say, "No Thanks." to me and then hang up.  It's a nice twist to a usually monotonous phone call.  

Jealous?  Bitter?  Don't be.  Everyday that you work is another day closer to your retirement. Take this post, print it out and read it as often as you need to. 

Hopefully, I have given you all something to look forward to.  

I wish I could write more, but Kathie Lee is on!  

The Monkey and the Fish - Question #3

(Part 3 of 3 to the questions presented in my recent post, "The Monkey and the Fish")

Could there be times where I feel I (monkey) am helping someone (fish) when I am actually doing more damage than good?

I have some serious issues.  Most of you that know me already knew this.  Those of you that read my blog and don't like me are holding yourselves back right now from writing a lengthy comment to this post, breaking down all of the problems you believe I have.  Please...I already know.  I am a work in progress and have a lot of areas that I need to improve in.  One of those areas that I know I need to get better in is the fact that I think I am Dr. Phil.  I am a little less qualified than he is and my close friend, Toby, has a lot less money than his close friend, Oprah. Other than that, we have a lot in common.  I seem to think that whenever someone begins sharing their life problems with me that what they really want me to do is blow them away with my incredible wisdom and offer them the solutions that will change their life forever. Even worse, sometimes when someone is speaking to me about a subject I stop listening to what they are saying and just wait for them to finish speaking because I am more focused on what I am about to say than I am on what they are saying.  Anyone else have that problem?  I think that people are sharing things with me because I am the cheapest version of Dr. Phil they could find.  

I wonder how often I thought I have been helping someone when in all actuality I was really hurting them?  

How could that happen? 

Here are some ways that I feel I may have done this.  

I have shared advice without truly listening to the situation and not weighing the alternatives.  

I have misused my position as a Pastor to lead people in believing that everything I say is on loan directly from God to them.  

I have assumed that by taking someone out of their circumstance and inviting them to a church service that I have shown them how to make the course corrections they need to make in their own lives when they get home.  

I have placed too much emphasis on people making a decision to become a Christ follower and not worked with them on the baggage they brought in with them before they made that decision and was more than likely still with them when they left.

Can you relate to any of these scenarios? 

What are the times in your life that you have had the intentions to help someone, but might have been more hurtful than helpful?

You might not be able to go back in time to right your wrongs, but you can learn from those moments and work to not allow it to happen again. 

A hurricane stranded a monkey on an island. In a protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed to the monkey that the fish was struggling and needed assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.

A tree leaned precariously over the spot where the fish seemed to struggle. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on the limb, reached down, and snatched the fish from the waters. Scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments, the fish showed excitement but soon settled into a peaceful rest. - An Eastern Parable

Remember, a fish fighting the current of the ocean is in a better place than if it was "resting" on the shore. Some situations are better to push through than to get out of. It seems like God is able to mold us into His image more through the difficult times than He is the good.  Your help might not be helping as much as it is hurting.  

The Monkey and the Fish - Question #2

(Part 2 of 3 to the questions presented in my recent blog post, "The Monkey and the Fish")

How important is it for a church to limit what happens at the building and lead people to live their lives away from it?

WELCOME TO OUR CHURCH!  

We have our main service every Sunday morning at 10 am.  This is the big show.  If you really want to be a part of our church you MUST be here every Sunday. 

We have a more intimate Sunday evening service at 6 pm every week.  This is the service where the incredible always seems to happen.  This is similar to our Sunday morning service except we will maybe sing an additional song or spend additional time in prayer as a group.  If you are having issues in your life that you need to overcome..you really need to come to this service.

Wednesday night is our discipleship night where we have all of our children's programs and bible studies for adults.  Sunday mornings are great, but they don't really allow us room for discipleship.  We have curriculum we use on Wednesday nights that we use for this.  If you don't just want to be a "Casual Christian", you must come on Wednesday night's to become a Disciple!  

We also have Church Clean Up Days, Men's/ Women's Ministry, Small Groups, Special Events, Missions Trips and so much more.  

The great thing is, making it easy for you, these all meet at our church!

I am not saying any of these things are bad.  I think each one can serve a great purpose and have an impact on people.  I also understand that a church has a building that should be in the ministry and that means it should be open as often as possible.  I just happen to wonder if there could be another way?  

I wish I could provide the solution to my question, but I don't have the answer.  I just think for me personally, I need to do a better job of entering the world more often than I ask the world to enter mine.  It's seems to be that learning to live life with others away from church could be much more effective in creating true discipleship than a dvd curriculum series or reading the latest Prayer of Jabez book together.  What if we were more intentional in the time we spent at church to train people how to duplicate themselves away from church.  Not the latest witnessing technique or asking people to invite their friends to our new outreach oriented sermon series, we equip people how to mentor and be mentored in their daily lives.  These are just some thoughts I have.  Nothing all that practical.  Just thoughts.

I recently did come across a video explaining how a church plant in Chicago is trying to do things a little differently.  It really caught my attention and I look forward to seeing what it looks like.  The name of the church is Soul City Church and the Lead Pastor is Jarrett Stevens.  Check it out...

How Can I Do a Better Job of Engaging People Where They Are At?

(Part 1 of 3 to the questions presented in my recent blog post "The Monkey and the Fish")

One of the challenges I discovered of serving in full-time ministry was the limited amount of time I spent with people that weren't connected to the church.  This was in no way the fault of the churches I was a apart of as it was my schedule and my choice how I invested my time.  The one thing I built my ministry on was life change and living life together. Suprisingly...this was also one of the main things I didn't contribute to on a weekly basis.  I know that spending your time developing Christ followers is a wise investment and teaching them "how to fish" widens your influence, but I was encouraging them to do something that I was not consistently doing.  Lately, I have been thinking more about this and what I need to do differently starting now to make sure I don't fall back into this circumstance again.  Here are some of my thoughts..

1. Have an Off-site Office Location - If I want to engage people where they are at, I should be more intentional of allowing myself to be....where THEY are at.  Making time every week to do some work at a coffee shop, bookstore or on the college campus can open up doors to friendships I wouldn't normally have if I were to spend all of my time at a church.  Maybe if I would have done this more when I was younger I wouldn't have fooled myself into thinking Carman was ever cool.  Yeah...I just went there. 

2. Get Involved With Non-Profits That are not Affiliated With a Church - There are a lot of great people and non-profits who are doing very positive things in the community that are not connected to a church body.  It shouldn't matter if someone is Christian, Muslim or Agnostic, I should work to find common ground with these groups because we all want to leave our communities better off through helping however we can.  Sometimes I can get so caught up in where they stand spiritually that I end up looking past all of the similarities we have that could make for a lasting friendship.  I have always found it easier to talk to friends about Christ than it is to talk to complete strangers.  Working with these people and groups can also show them that the church doesn't have to do everything with an agenda or to get accolades, they just want to truly serve people that are in need.  

3. Be Quicker to Listen - What if I actually took the time to listen to what people are telling me?  You see by nature I am a bit of a fixer.  When people have problems I want to provide them with the road map that will lead them to their solution.  It has taken me being married to the most incredible woman in the world to realize that sometimes people don't need me to fix their problems.  Sometimes people just want to know that you care enough to listen.  I need to continue to improve in this area of my life.  When you let people speak and they know that you care about what they are sharing with you, you build trust.  Through that trust you are given access to some of the deepest and darkest areas in their lives.  You can get an opinion about almost anything from anyone.  But finding someone who will truly take the time to let you share and is wiling to just be an ear to you, share your burdens with you, and love you through your situations (both good and bad), those people are very rare to find.  I want to be that kind of person for as many people as I can possibly be.  

Jesus commands all of us in Matthew chapter 28 to "go and make disciples".  Not everyone is going to call your receptionist and schedule an appointment to meet with you....most people are waiting for you to come to them.  

My Beautiful Little Girls

      

My wife recently went back home to Kansas City with the girls to be with family.  While they were there my brother-in-law, Ryan Nicholson, took some pictures of the girls for us.  Ryan is an incredible photographer that captures moments and personalities in his shots that make them very special.  If you would like to see more of his work go to www.ryan-nicholson.com or check out his blog at www.ryan-nicholson.com/blog.

Thanks Ryan for the pictures!

Abby Got That....

Abby started playing around with Photo Booth on our iMac and I wanted to share it with all of you. I took the liberty to spice it up a little.  She is a very funny girl....not sure who she gets her sense of humor from??

The Monkey and The Fish

A hurricane stranded a monkey on an island. In a protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed to the monkey that the fish was struggling and needed assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.

A tree leaned precariously over the spot where the fish seemed to struggle. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on the limb, reached down, and snatched the fish from the waters. Scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments, the fish showed excitement but soon settled into a peaceful rest. – An Eastern Parable

I am currently reading The Monkey and The Fish by Dave Gibbons.  Dave Gibbons is the Lead Pastor of NewSong Church in California.  It's a multi-ethnic church that looks to find ways to bring the gospel message to those that need to hear it most and truly change a city. In this book he deals with the importance of engaging culture where culture is at.  He calls his new way of thinking Third Culture and in this video clip below he explains this thought. 

The parable that was emphasized in the book has stuck with me and really challenged my thinking.  

How can I do a better job of engaging people where they are at?  

How important is it for a church to limit what happens at the building and lead people to live their lives away from it? 

Could there be times where I feel I (monkey) am helping someone (fish) when I am actually doing more damage than good?

Over the next few posts I will share some of my thoughts on these questions. Today I wanted to share the parable with you, get you thinking, and interest you in a book if you haven't heard of it yet.  

Side Note: The title of the book is highlighted above, clicking it will direct you to where you can purchase the book on Amazon. 

Music Monday

This video was made in 2006.  Tears for Fears. A full orchestra, huge stage....2006?  Is there still THAT much of a demand for this 80's band today? Anywhoo....great song from back in the day.  Enjoy!

Hi. I am New Here.

Yesterday was the first time in a very, very long time that I was an actual visitor at a new church. I have went to go research churches recently, kinda like a church ninja, but yesterday our family began the process of finding the church I will soon call home.  When you are in the ministry, one of the biggest concerns you have is how well you cater to first time guests trying to navigate their way through your church with their family.  

You pull up into the church parking lot.  Usually after seeing the sign a little too late and having to screech your tires turning into parking lot.  

Then you see a few buildings that have been mashed together because of the need to expand quickly and the building renovation plan being spread out over 15 years due to financial strains.  

With your children in tow, you start walking toward what you believe to be the main entrance of the church.  You start to wonder if JJ Abrams was the architect that created the church and if hidden cameras are taping you for a new show being produced for TBN that's a knock-off of "Punk'd".  

Then you see it!

It's the first sign you have seen that tells you where to drop your kids off at.  Sadly, the sign is placed in an odd location with the arrow potentially leading you straight or to take a hard right. After a few wrong turns you find your kids classrooms and go through the sign-in procedures. The funniest thing happens next...after having your children walk with you aimlessly and seeing the look of fear on your face before finding their drop off point, you are surprised after giving giving them a great, big hug that they are now afraid to be left alone in the classroom.  

I could go on and on..... 

Here is the good news.  My experience yesterday was nothing like this. This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to attend Without Walls Christian Center in Chandler, AZ.  My friend, Nathan Smale, had the privilege of speaking and I wanted to be there to hear him.  Everyone was so nice and welcoming to our family.  The service itself reminded my wife and I of some of the churches we attended back in the midwest.  On a Sunday morning at Without Walls you won't be just singing a few songs before a speaker gets up to deliver the message....you Worship! 

Another element that I also appreciated was during the announcements the Associate Pastor shared about what he called, "First Service".  On Sunday mornings they go out to feed the homeless in Chandler and he was sharing that they had the opportunity to feed over 170 individuals that morning.  I couldn't help but believe the reason the church body responded during worship at the service I attended was in some way connected to them wanting to celebrate what God already did at "First Service" that morning.   

Excited to see and hear about all of the great things God is doing at Without Walls.  

I was also really encouraged to hear about what God did at the church I was on staff at, Mesa First, this past weekend.  

Looking forward to being a visitor at another church this next weekend.  

I will make sure to take some more notes!

Random Note: They gave us a water bottle in our New Visitor Bag.  That should come in very handy while we are lost as visitors at our next church!