Averageyouthpastor

Let Me Tell YOU Something!

Do you know that God wants to know you personally?  

As someone who has spent a large portion of their adult life serving in full-time ministry, I am surprised by how much I told other people that and how inconsistent I was about applying that to my own life.  

I talked the talk without always walking the walk.

Since August I have been looking for what's next for me in ministry.  It's been exciting and very refreshing for me.  One of the things I have learned during this transition time is that I have made a lot of rookie mistakes in ministry! 

I began to realize how often I would read the Bible and look to apply it to the people I was given the opportunity to lead.

I realized that I spent much more time praying for others and very little praying and talking to God about myself. 

I discovered that when I would read books I would look to find ways to apply the information to others and rarely to myself. 

I found that on Sunday mornings I was much more concerned with processing the service than I was with my own personal development.

If you were to ask me now what's been the best part of this time away from ministry for myself I could honestly say it's been getting my relationship with God back on track.

God wants to know me.  He wants to have a relationship with me.  Through that relationship, He wants to work through me to encourage and impact the lives of others. 

I know for the 2-3 people that read my blog that this is something that you already knew. Nothing mind blowing for you hear.  

Or is it? 

Do you spend consistent time talking to God about what's going on with you?

Are you allowing God to work on you before He works through you? 

If you serve in any position of leadership in a church I would say that before you are given an opportunity to tell THEM anything, let God tell YOU something.  

In Response to "Top 5 Places to Start Reading in Your Bible..."

A friend of mine from college, Adam Couturier, responded to my recent post titled, "Top 5 Places to Start Reading in Your Bible...".  It was a link to a post by Kem Meyer that I liked for people that are wanting to read the bible, but not sure where to start.  He did not agree with Kem's opinion on where to start and I appreciated his take on the post so I am sharing it with all of you.  

Another perspective to think about.

I am not a fan of these recommendations (granted this is her opinion, and stated as such - which she is entitled to have). I understand what the author was going for, but don't you think such a plan divorces the bible from any narrative theme or context? What sense does a savior make, if there is no notion of a fall? What are people saved from? If there is no Abrahamic covenant, where does the Seed come from? How can we really understand the wisdom literature (Proverbs or Ecc.) without a strong understanding of natural theology grounded in creation? I think this reading list misses the greater context of scripture (which a top 5 list will naturally do), but there is no attempt to find a greater meta-narrative, and that seems like a shame for a starting point.

just my $.02
                                                                              Adam Couturier

Adam has a great blog that you can check out at www.parkersmood.wordpress.com

Top 5 Places to Start Reading in the Bible...

There is a great post o Kem Meyer's Blog on how to start reading the bible.  I thought it was excellent and wanted to share it.  

So click here to read it now! Top 5 places to start reading in the Bible...

Goodbye For Now

Yesterday evening I was privileged to have the opportunity to take the most amazing person in the world out for ice cream...my daughter, Abby.  We decided to go to Dairy Queen where we shared a Banana Split and we laughed with each other...loudly...and a lot. 

While we were sitting there a mom came in with her two children and sat in a booth close to us. They were all enjoying their ice cream, not as much as Abby and I, when the mother received a phone call.  Now I don't know who called her and I wasn't trying to be nosey, but I could tell by her tears and by what she was saying that she just found out someone very dear to her had just passed away. 

I just couldn't take my mind off of this family for the rest of the time we were there.  I wanted to get up and give them a hug.  I wanted to see if there was anything I could do for them.  I wanted them to know that, in some ways, I knew what they are going through.  But what I did do was enjoy the rest of the time I had with my daughter eating ice cream, go to the car, and I quietly prayed for the family as we pulled away.  

Losing those we love and care for is such a difficult part of this life.  We will always have the memories to cherish and remind us of how much those that we care for have meant to us.  We also have the hope of everlasting life and the opportunity to see them again when they are in heaven.  

Sometimes it's important that we are reminded that this life we live is only temporary.  As I sat there sharing a special moment with my daughter last night, a family was grieving over their loss and beginning the process of saying goodbye.  

I don't know the name of the family and I didn't feel like it would be appropriate to speak with them last night, but I would pray that during this time they would have peace.  I pray that they would hold on to the hope that someday soon they will be together again.  The peace that comes from knowing that can make a world of difference.  It doesn't have to be goodbye forever...my prayer would be it's only goodbye for now. 

"I will turn their mourning into gladness.  

 I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow."

                                                                                            Jeremiah 31:13

 

How Much Does Free Cost?

I am taking some time to experience a free, online conference today called, The Nines.  

The Nines is put together by LeadNet.Org with the concept of giving over 60 church leaders 9 minutes to share a thought and then offer these mini-leadership lesson online for free. 

Honestly, if it wasn't free I probably wouldn't have been a part of the conference.  After listening to the first 6 or 7 speakers though, I had over 5 pages of notes and was already busy trying to find a way to apply what I had heard to my life and ministry. What started as a free conference has now caused information overload for me.  It has also offered some great insight into leadership and ministry that I now have a responsibility to do something with.  I appreciate the way people are leveraging technology to equip others.  

If you didn't have a chance to be a part of The Nines you can go to the link below and watch the videos online in a couple of days.  I would recommend a few to watch...but there really hasn't been a bad one yet. 

Could There be a Better Way to Live?

“He has told you, O man, what is good; 
 and what does the LORD require of you
 but to do justice, and to love mercy,
  and to walk humbly with your God?” 
                                              Micah 6:8

Last week I had the opportunity to attend Mission Community Church for the first time in Gilbert, AZ.  I thought the experience was incredible from the moment we stepped on the campus, to way they took care of our children and the service itself.  I also really appreciated what they are doing to have an impact the community.  They recently changed their name from Superstition Springs Community Church to Mission Community to reflect what they are all about as Christ-Followers. Their mission is simple - Do Justice, Love Mercy and Walk Humbly w/ Our God, which is taken from Micah 6:8. It isn't just a cool phrase to them either.  It's a way of life that they work very hard to ingrain into the culture of the church. 

Since Sunday, that mission has still resonated with me personally.  

Could there be a better way to live?

Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.

Take some time today to reflect on this passage in Micah.  

Does your life reflect your commitment to these three statements?

What can you do today to do a better job of living your life in this way? 

It's exciting to see what God is doing at Mission Community.  I look forward to seeing what God does through this church over the next few years.  

Lessons I've Learned from the UFC

#1 BONES BREAK...WORDS KILL

Have you ever had someone say something negative to you that you will never forget?

We all have these moments that are recorded in our minds. Moments we wish would have never happened.  When we replay the things that were said in our minds, it still hurts and the words still affect us. 

In Mixed Martial Arts there are rules the fighters must follow.  They wear itty-bitty gloves that protect their hands and, somehow, limit the damage inflicted to their opponents.  As a cage fighter, you also have the ability to tap out whenever you have had enough punishment. 

Life isn't always like this.  Words can be very painful.  As much as you would like to tap out and move on....sometimes the pain of the words remain long after the fight is over.  

Just like breaking a bone in your leg, like my buddy in the picture above, there are things that people can say to you that cause you to need to go through a time of healing afterwards.  

Have you taken the time to heal from the words that have been said about you?  

Have you been able to bring yourself to recovery and become a stronger person because of the experience?

Have you tried to forget about the injury and been walking wounded ever since?

God wants to heal you.  Know that. God doesn't want you to feel the weight of the words that have been spoken to you any longer.  He wants you to learn what you can from the experience and move on.  Forgive.  Maybe never forget.  But forgive. 

Are there things that have been said about you that you have started to believe about yourself even though you know they are not true? 

Take some time today to view yourself through God's lens and not through the lens of others.  

My prayer for you today is that you would no longer feel like you have to carry the weight of those words anymore.  That you would begin a conversation with God about the hurt it has caused you and start the process of forgiving.  

I pray that you would have someone you can trust come into your life that you can talk to about what's happened to you.  Someone that believes in you and is willing to walk with you through this season in your life.

I pray that today you will no longer have to walk wounded.  

The Monkey and the Fish - Question #3

(Part 3 of 3 to the questions presented in my recent post, "The Monkey and the Fish")

Could there be times where I feel I (monkey) am helping someone (fish) when I am actually doing more damage than good?

I have some serious issues.  Most of you that know me already knew this.  Those of you that read my blog and don't like me are holding yourselves back right now from writing a lengthy comment to this post, breaking down all of the problems you believe I have.  Please...I already know.  I am a work in progress and have a lot of areas that I need to improve in.  One of those areas that I know I need to get better in is the fact that I think I am Dr. Phil.  I am a little less qualified than he is and my close friend, Toby, has a lot less money than his close friend, Oprah. Other than that, we have a lot in common.  I seem to think that whenever someone begins sharing their life problems with me that what they really want me to do is blow them away with my incredible wisdom and offer them the solutions that will change their life forever. Even worse, sometimes when someone is speaking to me about a subject I stop listening to what they are saying and just wait for them to finish speaking because I am more focused on what I am about to say than I am on what they are saying.  Anyone else have that problem?  I think that people are sharing things with me because I am the cheapest version of Dr. Phil they could find.  

I wonder how often I thought I have been helping someone when in all actuality I was really hurting them?  

How could that happen? 

Here are some ways that I feel I may have done this.  

I have shared advice without truly listening to the situation and not weighing the alternatives.  

I have misused my position as a Pastor to lead people in believing that everything I say is on loan directly from God to them.  

I have assumed that by taking someone out of their circumstance and inviting them to a church service that I have shown them how to make the course corrections they need to make in their own lives when they get home.  

I have placed too much emphasis on people making a decision to become a Christ follower and not worked with them on the baggage they brought in with them before they made that decision and was more than likely still with them when they left.

Can you relate to any of these scenarios? 

What are the times in your life that you have had the intentions to help someone, but might have been more hurtful than helpful?

You might not be able to go back in time to right your wrongs, but you can learn from those moments and work to not allow it to happen again. 

A hurricane stranded a monkey on an island. In a protected place on the shore, while waiting for the raging waters to recede, he spotted a fish swimming against the current. It seemed to the monkey that the fish was struggling and needed assistance. Being of kind heart, the monkey resolved to help the fish.

A tree leaned precariously over the spot where the fish seemed to struggle. At considerable risk to himself, the monkey moved far out on the limb, reached down, and snatched the fish from the waters. Scurrying back to the safety of his shelter, he carefully laid the fish on dry ground. For a few moments, the fish showed excitement but soon settled into a peaceful rest. - An Eastern Parable

Remember, a fish fighting the current of the ocean is in a better place than if it was "resting" on the shore. Some situations are better to push through than to get out of. It seems like God is able to mold us into His image more through the difficult times than He is the good.  Your help might not be helping as much as it is hurting.  

The Monkey and the Fish - Question #2

(Part 2 of 3 to the questions presented in my recent blog post, "The Monkey and the Fish")

How important is it for a church to limit what happens at the building and lead people to live their lives away from it?

WELCOME TO OUR CHURCH!  

We have our main service every Sunday morning at 10 am.  This is the big show.  If you really want to be a part of our church you MUST be here every Sunday. 

We have a more intimate Sunday evening service at 6 pm every week.  This is the service where the incredible always seems to happen.  This is similar to our Sunday morning service except we will maybe sing an additional song or spend additional time in prayer as a group.  If you are having issues in your life that you need to overcome..you really need to come to this service.

Wednesday night is our discipleship night where we have all of our children's programs and bible studies for adults.  Sunday mornings are great, but they don't really allow us room for discipleship.  We have curriculum we use on Wednesday nights that we use for this.  If you don't just want to be a "Casual Christian", you must come on Wednesday night's to become a Disciple!  

We also have Church Clean Up Days, Men's/ Women's Ministry, Small Groups, Special Events, Missions Trips and so much more.  

The great thing is, making it easy for you, these all meet at our church!

I am not saying any of these things are bad.  I think each one can serve a great purpose and have an impact on people.  I also understand that a church has a building that should be in the ministry and that means it should be open as often as possible.  I just happen to wonder if there could be another way?  

I wish I could provide the solution to my question, but I don't have the answer.  I just think for me personally, I need to do a better job of entering the world more often than I ask the world to enter mine.  It's seems to be that learning to live life with others away from church could be much more effective in creating true discipleship than a dvd curriculum series or reading the latest Prayer of Jabez book together.  What if we were more intentional in the time we spent at church to train people how to duplicate themselves away from church.  Not the latest witnessing technique or asking people to invite their friends to our new outreach oriented sermon series, we equip people how to mentor and be mentored in their daily lives.  These are just some thoughts I have.  Nothing all that practical.  Just thoughts.

I recently did come across a video explaining how a church plant in Chicago is trying to do things a little differently.  It really caught my attention and I look forward to seeing what it looks like.  The name of the church is Soul City Church and the Lead Pastor is Jarrett Stevens.  Check it out...

How Can I Do a Better Job of Engaging People Where They Are At?

(Part 1 of 3 to the questions presented in my recent blog post "The Monkey and the Fish")

One of the challenges I discovered of serving in full-time ministry was the limited amount of time I spent with people that weren't connected to the church.  This was in no way the fault of the churches I was a apart of as it was my schedule and my choice how I invested my time.  The one thing I built my ministry on was life change and living life together. Suprisingly...this was also one of the main things I didn't contribute to on a weekly basis.  I know that spending your time developing Christ followers is a wise investment and teaching them "how to fish" widens your influence, but I was encouraging them to do something that I was not consistently doing.  Lately, I have been thinking more about this and what I need to do differently starting now to make sure I don't fall back into this circumstance again.  Here are some of my thoughts..

1. Have an Off-site Office Location - If I want to engage people where they are at, I should be more intentional of allowing myself to be....where THEY are at.  Making time every week to do some work at a coffee shop, bookstore or on the college campus can open up doors to friendships I wouldn't normally have if I were to spend all of my time at a church.  Maybe if I would have done this more when I was younger I wouldn't have fooled myself into thinking Carman was ever cool.  Yeah...I just went there. 

2. Get Involved With Non-Profits That are not Affiliated With a Church - There are a lot of great people and non-profits who are doing very positive things in the community that are not connected to a church body.  It shouldn't matter if someone is Christian, Muslim or Agnostic, I should work to find common ground with these groups because we all want to leave our communities better off through helping however we can.  Sometimes I can get so caught up in where they stand spiritually that I end up looking past all of the similarities we have that could make for a lasting friendship.  I have always found it easier to talk to friends about Christ than it is to talk to complete strangers.  Working with these people and groups can also show them that the church doesn't have to do everything with an agenda or to get accolades, they just want to truly serve people that are in need.  

3. Be Quicker to Listen - What if I actually took the time to listen to what people are telling me?  You see by nature I am a bit of a fixer.  When people have problems I want to provide them with the road map that will lead them to their solution.  It has taken me being married to the most incredible woman in the world to realize that sometimes people don't need me to fix their problems.  Sometimes people just want to know that you care enough to listen.  I need to continue to improve in this area of my life.  When you let people speak and they know that you care about what they are sharing with you, you build trust.  Through that trust you are given access to some of the deepest and darkest areas in their lives.  You can get an opinion about almost anything from anyone.  But finding someone who will truly take the time to let you share and is wiling to just be an ear to you, share your burdens with you, and love you through your situations (both good and bad), those people are very rare to find.  I want to be that kind of person for as many people as I can possibly be.  

Jesus commands all of us in Matthew chapter 28 to "go and make disciples".  Not everyone is going to call your receptionist and schedule an appointment to meet with you....most people are waiting for you to come to them.